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Cookie Policy

Last Updated: June 15, 2025

1. What Are Cookies?

Cookies are:

Small text files (not the delicious kind)
Digital crumbs that follow you around
Much less tasty than actual cookies

2. Cookies We Use

Our website uses the following types of cookies:

Procrastination Trackers (to measure time wasted)
Useless Preference Cookies (they remember nothing important)
Analytics Cookies (to count how many souls we've claimed)
Random Number Generators (they're not cookies, we just like random numbers)

3. Cookie Categories

Our cookies are categorized by uselessness:

Essential Cookies (they're not)
Performance Cookies (they make things slower)
Functionality Cookies (they break functionality)
Targeting Cookies (they target nothing in particular)

4. Managing Cookies

You can manage our cookies by:

Eating them (not recommended)
Clearing your browser history (but why bother?)
Throwing your computer out the window (extreme but effective)

5. Third-Party Cookies

We allow third-party cookies from:

Google Analytics (they're watching)
Social Media (to share your shame)
Random websites we found interesting

6. Cookie Lifespan

Our cookies last:

Session Cookies: Until you escape
Persistent Cookies: Until the heat death of the universe
Eternal Cookies: They outlive cockroaches

7. Cookie Consent

By using our website, you consent to:

All cookies (resistance is futile)
The inevitable waste of time
Questioning your browser's cookie storage decisions

8. Updates to Cookie Policy

This policy updates when:

We discover new ways to track wasted time
Someone actually reads this policy
We're procrastinating on real work